Is It Trauma?

Unpacking Trauma That Just Feels Like Your Norm

Trauma. It can be such a loaded term, a buzz word, something we say without always truly understanding.

The reality is that trauma is not only those major life-threatening events (accidents, war, abuse) but also the quiet and cumulative events. Sometimes, it's a lifetime of smaller moments that taught your nervous system the world isn't always safe.

What Trauma Can Look Like

Trauma isn't always flashbacks and nightmares. Sometimes it shows up so subtly that it truly just blends with our normal.

Apologizing for things that aren't your fault?

Struggling to say no, even when you want to?

Feeling responsible for other people's emotions?

Feeling numb or shutting down during conflict?

Maybe you feel anxious when things are "too calm" or going well?

Keeping people at arms length because that way they can't hurt you?

Have trouble trusting that people won't leave?

Any of these resonate with you? perfect, lets keep going.

You might be thinking "well that's just who I am". Okay fair, but often, they're adaptive responses that your nervous system had to learn in order to keep you safe.

Why It Feels So Deep

Because it often is deep. Usually stemming as far back as childhood.

Maybe love was conditional, maybe you had to grow up too fast, maybe you were never truly validated. Over time, our mind and body have to learn ways to protect ourselves like staying on high alert, people pleasing, over-achieving, running away when things get overwhelming.

These are all coping tools that once provided a lot of protection. They did a really good job at keeping you safe at the times they were needed.

But it's hard for our nervous systems to know when those protectors are no longer needed. which, if you've stuck through reading this still, you’re probably seeking help to step away from those automatic, out of date, coping tools.

The Body Keeps the Score

If you've read the book by Bessel Van Der Kolk, then you already know this. Our bodies store the experiences we had. It holds onto tension, reactions that used to make sense, or staying on guard way longer than necessary.

This is where trauma-informed therapy can help. By understanding and learning about your specific trauma and how your body is holding onto it, we can gently combine body-based approaches to help you heal at a deep, nervous system level.

Healing Is Possible

Healing trauma isn't about erasing the past and making it all "go away". It's about helping you feel safe again in the present moment, despite what happened to you in the past.

It's about learning to slow down just enough to listen to what your body is telling you, and knowing how cope without living in survival mode.

At Kindred Counselling, we work with trauma in a way that honours your whole experience, connecting your mind, body and story. Together, we can help you build safety, trust, and connection - both with yourself and others.

You don't have to figure it all out alone.

Warmly,

Britney Bingham, MACP, LCT, Owner of Kindred Counselling